For this week’s entry of the Draw Closer Series, God placed on my heart to share some of what is going on in my current season of life. This is not about my waiting for God to bring mine and the man God has for me paths together. This is about another area that I have been waiting for God to move in and that is the area of my purpose. I touched on my purpose a little bit in the Liebster Award post. For those who do not know, I am a writer. As a writer, there are numerous directions to take in order to have a writing career such as journalism and copywriting to name a couple. Since I was thirteen years old, the kind of writing I loved was fiction writing. I loved creating stories with characters that were relatable, and characters that had gifts that were extraordinary and specifically given to them.
I was not made aware that my hobby of writing stories at thirteen was meant to be more until I was seeking God my junior year of high school as to what career he wanted me to pursue in college. He did not answer those prayers until I entered my senior year of high school; as I began a new story, He revealed to me that being a fiction writer is what I should pursue. After doing several fiction workshops in college, each one reaffirmed what God told me my senior year. In addition, the workshops increased my love for writing fiction. I was certain that God wanted me to use my gift of fictional storytelling to express to teenagers and adults God’s love, His forgiveness, and His plan for our lives. Now, there were moments in college (especially towards the end) where doubts crept in, but I maintained my belief in what God told me years prior.
Even so, the last couple of weeks, my firm belief started to waver. Why? Well, for several months, I have been sending query letters to literary agents in hopes that one will want to represent my book and me. I anticipated it would be a process; my research showed that many authors receive multiple no’s on their project before they receive a yes. Yet, when the fourth agent I sent too requested to read a partial, I did allow the thought to arise that she was possibly the one, but she said no. Since then, agents have given complements about my sample pages, but still, said no. With each no, I choose to accept that the agent was not the right fit.
Still, with each week that passes by, there is a feeling of restlessness. I am ready for the next step in the process to seeing my book on bookshelves and online. I am ready for teen readers and adult readers to find themselves in my characters. I am ready for readers to embrace through my characters that God has given them a specific purpose that no one else can do but them. This is my dream, my desire, my purpose.
All of us have experienced or are experiencing a period of waiting in our lives that leads to this restlessness. It could be in your career; for instance, you are ready for a raise, or you are ready to move to a higher position at your company. It does not have to be your career; it could be in other areas like desiring to move out of your parents’ home, desiring to finish school, desiring a job, desiring to be married, desiring children, and desiring to own a home. The danger is when we let those feelings turn to frustration.
What should the response be when restlessness and frustration arise? That brings me to this week’s verse and it comes from Psalm 62. Verse 8 says, “Trust in him at all times, you people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge.” When I read the words: “pour out your hearts to Him,” what came to my mind was vulnerability. Each one of us needs to tell God how we are feeling about our current season. You might be thinking there is no need to since God already knows how you feel before you say anything. This is true God does, but as discussed in Part 1, God wants us to come to him. Share your heart with him there is no point in wearing a mask with God. Jesus says it this way, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28).
BE WARNED. If you choose not to come to God with your feelings and allow him to give you the rest that only he can provide, you can be certain that the enemy will use it as an opportunity to get a foothold in your life. The enemy would love to use this time while we are waiting to draw us away from God and to tempt us with the idea of achieving our desires without God, which is a LIE. Still some of us make the decision to step out of God’s Will to get what we desire. Stepping out might satisfy your desire for a little while, but in the end, it will not be anywhere near the fulfillment God wanted you to have, for none of us can have God’s best WITHOUT God involved.
Instead of pulling away from God and/or trying to obtain our desires away from God, we need to latch onto to God and His Word. Why should we? As the final part of Psalm 62:8 states, “for God is our refuge.” The reason why we can be vulnerable with God is because he is our protector, he is our shelter, and he is our ONLY true source for fulfillment. No person in our lives (spouse, family, friends, etc.) can give us fulfillment. God NEVER disappoints us. 🙂
Not only does God never disappoint us, it is important to remember that he does have a plan for each of us. God knows exactly what he is doing. I understand that it can be frustrating that what you desire has not come to pass; as I said earlier in this post, I recently had my own struggle with wanting to move on to the next step in becoming a published author. The part that I think many of us overlook during our emotion filled moments is that our feelings are stemming from OUR POINT OF VIEW. In other words, we only see the story from our perspective.
Let me give an example. Say, you read a book told from the main character’s viewpoint (first person). You are inside the character’s head reading their thoughts as they encounter different characters, you understand the reasoning behind their actions as the novel progresses, and you see everything from their perspective. However, you do not get to see inside the mind of other characters in the novel. You will not understand another character’s actions unless the main character is told why or finds out why through other means. If anything, your conclusion about the main character’s love interest or distant friend may be influenced by the main character’s view on the situation. In contrast, readers reading a book told in third person have much more insight into the mind of one or more characters aside from the main character. When the main character is slighted by a love interest, you understand why because you read the love interest’s viewpoint.
Similar to a book’s narration, we will never see the complete story of our own lives because we are not omnipotent nor are we omnipresent. Even so, we know the one, who is omnipotent and omnipresent. Isaiah 55:8 explains it this way, “‘For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,’ declares the Lord.” There is a reason why the door has not opened for my book, there is a reason why you have not met the person God has for you yet, and there is a reason why you and your spouse are not expecting a little one yet. Sometimes, we do not know the precise why until God gives us insight into why.
Know this though sometimes God will not reveal it to us. We have to accept not knowing the whole story NOW. Instead of being upset that we do not know why, let us be thankful that God’s thoughts and ways are FAR BETTER THAN OUR OWN. Because the story you or I might have written for ourselves with our careers, or with meeting the one God has for us and embarking on that journey, fails in comparison to the story God is writing for us.
So, as we all wait for something, we must trust Him. We must seek Him. We must allow Him to do a work within us that will definitely enhance the next part of our stories.
What are your thoughts?
Have there been times where you’ve been frustrated with waiting for the desires of your heart?
Was there a verse that you read during that time that helped shift your feelings from discontent to trusting God?
Feel free to share your thoughts below!
All Bible verses are from Holy Bible: New International Version